We had our BPP, BiophysicalProfile, today and had a little scare. One of the things that is measured is the breathing movement. If it meets certain criteria than baby receives 2 points for "passing". If not, then no points. We found out our Baby received 0 points. As a result we ended up doing a regular non-stress test (NST) afterward. This is the same test I have had the past 3 weeks and Baby has scored excellent on. Though my BP was elevated somewhat & the Baby did a little less movement than usual we still passed. It didn't hit me until I got home how worried I really was. Here is why:
Though I know that our doctor is a cautious one I couldn't help but think of what can happen when we aren't in the care of the doctor or hooked up to a helpful machine. I think the thing that unsettled me the most, and later on found out it did the same to Dave, was the silence of the ultrasound tech. Though I tried to ask questions it was clear she wasn't going to chat. She just silently looked and recorded data. A few times she shook my stomach I guess trying to get Baby to move. A couple other times she "buzzed" my tummy with this vibrating thing again I'm guessing trying to get Baby to move. Of course it made my mind race wondering if something was wrong with movement, breathing and or the heart rate. Not knowing is concerning at best. The worst was that it brought back a rush of memories to when we lost Rose Marie. The grave silence of the tech, the stillness & quiet in the room, the lack of seeing things on the monitor, etc. Though I tried to block them out the memories were all back again just like they happened yesterday. Dave felt the same though I didn't find out until later. Here what we thought was going to be a fun last peek at our Baby before birth turned into a tense, silent event where you could cut the tension with a knife.
In the midst of my silent tears this afternoon I reached out to 2 groups of friends for prayer. Both were amazing in their support and prayers. One lady from our new homeschool group wrote an email to me. She is a Labor & Delivery nurse. She understood and validated my feelings while at the same time explaining things to me in detail. I'm telling you she was the answer to my prayers for peace of mind. She let me know that though the lack of points for breathing can indicate distress for Baby the movements shown on the NST is the most important of the two. And on the NST today Baby did well. That was a huge reassurance. I thank God for this gift and this woman who was willing to share her knowledge with me. It was like a giant hug from God.
Things are much better here tonight. I am keeping a very close eye on my kick counts & Dave and I had a sweet prayer time tonight. I am still quite emotional but there is peace. I thank all of you who reached out to me today. Your support, caring & love show us that we are so very blessed. As of right now I will be monitoring those kicks, taking it easy & waiting for my weekly appointment. This time it is March 17th. I'll be sure to update when we have more news. In the meantime keep those prayers coming. We deeply treasure them and deeply treasure all of you.